What the "Manosphere" Gets Really Right, and Really Wrong | Q&A with Rivelino the Artist
Enigmatic internet anon Rivelino the Artist joins the chat to discuss the manosphere, pick-up-artistry, memes, and who he is deep down.
What even is the “manosphere?”
If you rely on sources like Media Matters, you’d be indoctrinated into the one-sided perspective that it’s a conglomerate of right-wingers who blame women “for myriad societal woes” and treat us “as an inferior sex.”
You’d probably feel a bit fearful of anyone manosphere-adjacent, since legacy media likes to add color to their coverage with labels like “white nationalists,” “violent misogynists,” and “incels.”
They lump cultural critics, fitness instructors, and men’s relationship gurus in with these aforementioned boogeymen to persuade readers into the conclusion that the manosphere leads weak men down a rabbit hole of male-centric advice to “outright hatred of women.”
While there are certainly men within the manosphere who are filled with hate and may even pose a threat to society, liberal media fearmonger over men's self-help or guru-style content creators far too frequently. It’s a shame, actually, because some of them are sorely misunderstood.
One who has always fascinated me goes by the moniker Rivelino the Artist. He piqued my interest because he’s a living meme, and while I personally find some of his tweets to be a bit too risqué for my own tastes, I find his theories pretty entertaining.
A good friend of mine loves Rivelino’s account, and upon seeing that Rivelino had retweeted me in the past, told me I should reach out to chat for an article.
So, I did. I love understanding what makes people tick – especially enigmatic internet anons with a cult following.
Join me for a little exploration of the mind behind The Green Line Theory (AKA “Don’t Lean In”), Cock Confidence vs. Cock Shame, and much more…
- RIVELINO’S THEORIES -
ANDREA: If you had to boil down your central philosophy or goal with your work, how would you describe it?
RIVELINO: Don’t lean into her world, attract her into your world. That is the main idea behind my green line body language theory. In other words, be a man, stand up straight, face the world with confidence and courage, don’t be needy and clingy.
This is the best and only real way for a man to attract a high quality woman into his life. There are no shortcuts in the dating market that last long term. Becoming a good strong healthy man is the best way to attract a good healthy woman. Healthy masculinity attracts healthy femininity.”
ANDREA: What would you say to people who think your theories are getting stale?
RIVELINO: From the outside, that might seem to be the case. It can be hard for women to relate to the struggles and challenges men face when looking for love, just like it can be hard for men to relate to the challenges and struggles women face. However, I’m excited about the new theories I’m working on, and I’m getting great feedback from the men I’m working with.
ANDREA: What do normies misunderstand about your theories?
RIVELINO: A lot of people have been tricked into thinking that traditional masculinity and traditional femininity are bad. I used to be one of these people. So I do my best to have patience and empathy for the people who have bought into the current propaganda. They are often the most unhealthy and unhappy, and this is sad. All of us want to find love.
ANDREA: Why does sex discourse even matter to you? What would you say to people who think you should spend your time elsewhere?
RIVELINO: Sex matters to everybody. Our sexual energy is deeply tied to our life force, our joy for life, and to how deeply we can connect to another person. Before I even discovered the “manosphere,” two books that got me thinking about men and women, sex and love, were Erich Fromm’s 1956 book, The Art of Loving and John Grey’s 1992 book, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. Both of these books were big inspirations for me and still are.
ANDREA: Everyone has their own opinions in the culture war about what masculinity really is.. what is it to you? What is it not?
RIVELINO: More than anything else, the job of the masculine is to protect the feminine. You can’t be masculine if you have nothing valuable to protect.
- ON PICK-UP-ARTISTRY -
ANDREA: How did you find the PUA community, and why did you get so heavily involved?
RIVELINO: I discovered Roissy’s blog in 2010, as I was getting divorced. More than any other pick-up artist, Roissy wrote with intelligence and sophistication. Reading his blog inspired me to start my own blog and then a Twitter account.
From the beginning, my Rivelino persona was a form of self-help, of free online therapy. Using a pen name to write about my romantic struggles helped me deal with the pain and helped me connect with other men going through similar struggles.
At the same time I discovered Roissy, I also discovered the writing of David Deida. He is deeply romantic and insightful. His book The Way of the Superior Man came out in 1997 and is in my opinion the true origin of what we now call the “red pill”. Here’s a quote from his book:
“A woman often seems to test her man’s capacity to remain unperturbed in his truth and purpose. She tests him to feel his freedom and depth of love, to know that he is trustable. Her tests may come in the form of complaining, challenging him, changing her mind, doubting him, distracting him, or even undermining his purpose in a subtle or not so subtle way. A man should never think his woman’s testing is going to end and his life will get easier. Rather, he should appreciate that she does these things to feel his strength, integrity, and openness. Her desire is for his deepest truth and love. As he grows, so will her testing.” –David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
ANDREA: From what I understand, you've been around the manosphere from the beginning. How has it changed and evolved over the years? And do you feel good or bad about its evolution?
RIVELINO: The term manosphere has become overused to the point that it’s not really useful and often creates misunderstandings. But like I was saying above, I started reading Roissy’s blog in 2010 and a lot of people credit him for being one of the early creators of the manosphere. Since then, I feel that a lot has been lost.
ANDREA: What would you say to people who assert that PUA/manosphere discourse is reductionary in nature and not productive?
RIVELINO: I can see why people would say that. There’s a lot of noise, a lot of shouting, a lot of posturing. But what a lot of people don’t see is that there are a lot of honest and sincere young men looking for love who don’t know how to find it. I get DMs from them almost every day, and they’re a big reason why I keep on writing.
- ON MEME CULTURE -
ANDREA: Can you pinpoint for me your big break (or breaks, if there were several instances) into meme notoriety?
RIVELINO: My “Don’t lean in, strong man!” tweet from May 2020 was my first green line tweet to go viral.
ANDREA: Did you ever think you'd become a living meme?
RIVELINO: Seeing the green lines as a meme is fun but also distracting. The green lines are a tool to help men stand up straight and connect with their masculinity. A man who is connected to his masculine energy will have a deeper connection with a feminine woman. He can even help her connect with her femininity.
Furthermore, at the societal level, there are cultural forces trying to destroy traditional masculinity and traditional femininity. They are trying to weaken love, families and society. The purpose of the green lines is to strengthen the bonds of love between a man and a woman. This helps make families and society stronger.
ANDREA: Is being a memelord online your full-time job?
RIVELINO: Without getting too specific, I’ve been working as a creative professional for twenty years. Drawing green lines on Twitter is one of my favorite things to do, but it’s not my only artistic project.
- ON MEN’S (AND WOMEN’S!) ADVICE -
ANDREA: Who are some ideal male role models that men should aspire to be more like, in your opinion?
RIVELINO: I’m very lucky. My Dad is an incredible role model. He’s been married to my Mom for fifty years and they have a beautiful marriage. I try to be more like him every day. But it’s true that strong healthy masculine role models are hard to find these days. It’s a big problem.
ANDREA: If you could only give men three pieces of advice for winning big with women, what would it be?
RIVELINO: In order to love a woman the right way, you need to understand her fears, her desires, her insecurities, her way of seeing the world. To that end, I’ve written four hundred aphorisms about love. Here are three of my favorites:
1) Don’t lean into her world, pull her into your world
2) Everything is your fault. Nothing is her fault
3) Love her for what she is. Don’t hate her for what she’s not
ANDREA: If you could only give women three pieces of advice for best supporting their man, what would it be?
RIVELINO: 1) Let him do things for you. Let him open doors for you, let him carry heavy things for you, let him solve problems for you, let him feel useful and strong. And when he does, don’t say “sorry to bother”, say “thank you.” He wants to serve you. When he serves you, when he feels you need him, that makes him feel masculine. He wants to be your hero.
2) Give him as much sex as possible. Sex is a constant need for men, and it’s not just a physical need, it’s an emotional need. When you give your husband sex, you give him love, affection and acceptance, and there is no greater gift you can give your man than the feeling of being accepted by you. In contrast, when you deny him sex repeatedly, he may begin to shut down emotionally because he begins to feel flawed to the point of being unworthy of your love.
3) Every minute you spend looking pretty for your husband will pay off 100x in the relationship. Your feminine beauty and feminine charm is the fuel that drives him to greatness.
I have met and talked to many good men over the years who are sincerely and genuinely looking for a good woman to love and take care of. There is something very beautiful about men, and that is that we’re biologically programmed to want to sacrifice for the woman we love. Yeah, we may feel emasculated if we’re not allowed to lead, but a good man wants to lead the relationship so that he can serve his woman and be useful to her.
It’s slightly paradoxical, I realize, but if you start seeing it that way, it begins to make more sense. A man wants to find a good woman so he can dedicate his life to providing for her and protecting her. A man wants to be strong so that he can protect his woman. That is what gives meaning to our strength. Otherwise, our strength has no meaning or purpose.
Also, an important point: It’s true that men are somewhat “shallow.” We put a high premium on feminine beauty and we sometimes have a constant need to admire female beauty out in the world (not just our wife). This may be hard for women to understand, but it shouldn’t be seen as threatening.
There’s a great scene at the beginning of Back To The Future where Marty is talking to his girlfriend Jennifer but he gets distracted by two girls walking by. She doesn’t get upset, she just gets him to refocus by playfully grabbing him and turning him around.
That’s the best way to deal with this kind of thing. Playfully. A man’s sexuality is his driving force for life. Don’t shut it down! Redirect it in a playful way without getting angry and he will love you more.
- GET TO KNOW RIVELINO -
ANDREA: What’s a little nugget of information from behind the scenes that people wouldn’t expect about you?
RIVELINO: My parents are from South America and my Mom is part Asian. A lot of people think I’m white or Italian because of my name Rivelino.
ANDREA: You wrote once about the importance of having a "sexy hobby." What's yours?
RIVELINO: I’m a really good photographer. I’ve been taking pictures for fifteen years, mostly portraits. Photography has changed my life even more than Twitter has. One day hopefully I can show you my work.
The sexy hobby concept is a theory I’ve been working on a lot over the past several years. Too many guys are lonely but they waste their time playing video games, drinking beer, watching sports. They don’t create anything and this makes them boring.
When a man develops a sexy hobby like playing the guitar, learning how to dance, learning how to surf, being good at hiking and camping – this is a great way for him to express his passion for life, and this passion helps him connect with a woman.
A really great book that helped me get in touch with my creativity is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. Her theory is that we are all creative and that most of us are just blocked because we feel our creative impulses are silly and stupid.
"No matter what your age or your life path, whether making art is your career or your hobby or your dream, it is not too late or too egotistical or too selfish or too silly to work on your creativity." –Julia Cameron, The Artist's Way
ANDREA: What's the craziest DM you've ever received... if you can share it?
RIVELINO: Years ago, I drew green lines on Gandhi and somebody begged me to delete the tweet. That wasn’t a crazy DM but for some reason it comes to mind. Maybe because I feel guilty that I didn’t delete it.
ANDREA: What is your religion – if you practice one – and how does your faith background influence your theories?
RIVELINO: I’m Catholic. I was raised Catholic, then I was an atheist for a while – I lost my way – but now I’m back.
ANDREA: Can you share with me your toughest breakup, and what you learned from that relationship?
RIVELINO: My divorce was tough. I was with my ex-wife for ten years. She’s an amazing woman and we’re great friends now. I learned many things from her. One of the biggest thing I learned is not to take love for granted, it’s very difficult to find.
ANDREA: What's your relationship status?
RIVELINO: I’m dating a beautiful, smart, funny girl. She is a dream come true.
ANDREA: What’s your all-time favorite quote?
RIVELINO: “A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” – Goethe
"1) Let him do things for you. He wants to be your hero
2) Give him as much sex as possible
3) Every minute you spend looking pretty for your husband will pay off 100x"
This is good advice! Maybe I should have written, will pay off 1000x!
Thanks again for asking me such insightful questions, for taking the time to get to know me better, and for helping to share the beauty of the green lines